Today I pray.....

O Christ, Lamb of God, slain for the sin of the whole world, with penitent heart I come to Your cross, pleading for mercy and forgiveness. My sins—and they are many–have added to the burden of Your suffering and have nailed You to the accursed tree. For me You have tasted the agony of the utter darkness that I might not perish, but have everlasting life. Have mercy upon me.


O Christ, Lamb of God, embrace me with Your love, and forgive me all my sins. Your death brings healing to my soul, peace to my mind, cleansing to my heart. If You would mark iniquity, I could not come for my hands are unclean, my lips are sullied, and my heart is blackened by sin. But beholding You bleeding, despised, forsaken, dying, pierced, I come to be cleansed and forgiven.

O Christ, Lamb of God, grant that I may hate sin and wickedness more and more as I behold You in Your great agony. My grateful heart today finds hope in Your words, comfort in Your promises, and salvation in Your finished work on the cross, by which You have overcome sin, Satan, and death.

O Lord, have mercy. O Christ, have mercy. O Lord, hear my prayer.

Amen.

prayer for Good Friday taken from the Lutheran prayer book.

Happy Love Month

Today try and find a reason to love where you are...literally, figuratively, in every sense of the word. 

JLS Inspiration

I went to a leadership conference on Monday for the Junior League of Sacramento. For those of you that are not aware of this group it is a volunteer organization of women promoting voluntarism, developing potential of women and community improvement. The list of orgnizations that are assisted by the JLS in the Sacramento area are child abuse prevention programs, feeding and educating women and children who are homeless or fled abusive homes. Most recently they wrote a bill that went to congress and passed providing funding for homeless children to receive food and education while in the Sacramento area. Most of these children gravitate to the fruits and vegetables that we take for granted and soak up every ounce of education that they can get their hands on. Every time I go to one of these events I am inspired by what this group of women have been able to achieve in the past and are currently doing now to make the future brighter and humbled by my many blessings.

Monday was a great time of fellowship and uplifting thoughts. I would like to share a few of them with you. Although this conference was geared towards being a leader who inspires their group it also had very relevant topics that we can use in our everyday lives. You know me always trying to see the glass as half full.

1. Take the high road.
2. Enjoy the journey.
3. Know who's driving. - God
4. Face your fears!
5. You are headed in the right direction. Be committed to moving forward.
6. The road ahead is interesting and might be challenging. Take the time to see and learn as much as possible.
7. If you find yourself in unknown territory, keep going don't be discouraged.
8. Look to others around you for insightful motivation.

I hope as you read over these words you are as inspired as I was and still am. Each day we are provided with a choice, a choice to stay where we are in whatever state that may be or a chance to move forward.

Hold our head high and even though the road may be bumpy realize that we are here in this place now to learn and grow, to learn a lesson. And like most of you sometimes I am done trying to learn the lesson. But I will look back on these words and realize that I can do it with the love and support of those around me.

2011

Well here it is 2011.  Man.....
I have been reading other people's blogs, how happy they are for the new year, how they feel so inspired to do something, to improve over the next year.   You want to know what I feel.....tired. 
Is it because of my ever present longing for Utah after a long trip there?  Is it because my house is so overwhelming with projects that I just want to stick my head in the sand?  What is it?  I don't know but I am getting pretty sick and tired of being tired.  Where was that girl that was going to concur the world by the time she was thirty.  Where was the lovely wife and mother with fresh baked cookies for her kids to come home too?  She has been replaced, replaced with me.  The good, bad, and sometimes very impatient. 
I have many great attributes I am kind, and loving.  But it is time for the kick ass and take names girl to come back out again.  I remember this girl though I haven't seen her in such a long time. 
It is time for goals, and lists, and making memories even if I am tired.  Why, well because I am going to blink and be 40 and my kids are going to be in college.  And I am going to wonder where it all went. 
So here it is a rambling post all about nothing and everything all at the same time.  Too much in my mind to write down but a time needed just to say although the last two year have been exhausting and I am so over cancer, and death, and sickness I could scream I need some optimism.  So with every ounce of depleting energy here goes.  My list of goals for the upcoming year.

Educational:
1.  Continue my education and get closer to graduation and my bachelors.
2.  Pass the HR Exam.
3.  Keep my kids on the straight and narrow with school.  Create learning and teaching opportunities for them to learn from me and me to learn from them.
4.  Read a book a month.

Emotional:
whoa this is a big one and I don't quite know if I am ready for it or not....
1.  Be open to a relationship.  Be ok with the chance that my heart might get broken again.
2. Laugh just for the hell of it.
3. Remember to smile!

Health:
1.  Exercise at least three times a week.  Outside or in, activity driven will be the most successful.
2.  Help the boys learn why exercise and keeping healthy is important.
3.  Train for and run a 5K, 10 K and hopefully a Half-Marathon.

Family:
1.  Listen more to my kids. Continue dropping everything when they ask for me.
2.  Mama son dates at least once a month.
3.  Family night twice a month.
4.  Family dinners at the table Sunday - Thursday.
5.  Camping, and vacations.  Florida, and Cabo!
6.  52 weeks in Pictures Project.

Home:
1.  Take some classes to learn basic home repair.
2.  Get the landscaping done.
3.  Write down all the things that I want done to the house and then break them down into manageable projects.

Financial:
1.  Continue savings plan created last year.  Almost to my goal!
2.  Prepare Tony for the job market.

Friends:
1.  Continue to invest in my friendships.
2.  Plan another girls trip!

Spiritual:
1.  Daniel Fast 21 Days to get closer to God.
2.  Trust God!!!
3.  Ask God to help with patience.
4.  Pray for those around me more.
5.  Enroll in another Bible Study.

See how I get overwhelmed.  I typed that in five minutes.  I will have to stop now so that I can get back to making things happen.  Who am I kidding, I need a nap and a mug of hot tea in front of the fire.

Picture to come because I haven't downloaded them yet.